Why so uptight

It helps you enjoy life more and connects you to the people you dance with. At its core, meditation is the art of being quiet and listening to our breath and then our thoughts, for a period of time.

The goal is to be fully aware of our mind and body and be compassionate towards ourselves as we listen. There are 5 key reasons why meditation helps us[ 8 ][ 9 ][ 10 ], it:. Have a look at the mindful. The act of preparing tea can be relaxing.

The break is a good chance to find calm in the middle of a busy day. Even more importantly, tea contains substances like L-theanine, which has been shown to reduce stress and tension. Keep an eye on your caffeine intake. In the afternoon and evening, choose decaf coffee or herbal teas so that your sleep patterns are not affected.

It could be a past trauma or a sign of a stress disorder. If you think this might be the case, it can be a good idea to talk to a therapist or doctor. They can help you find new ways to think about social situations. A doctor can also prescribe medication that can decrease social anxiety. We recommend BetterHelp for online therapy, since they offer unlimited messaging and a weekly session, and is much cheaper than going to an actual therapist's office.

They are also cheaper than Talkspace for what you get. You can learn more about BetterHelp here. David Morin is the founder of SocialPro.

He's been writing about social skills since Follow on Twitter or read more. Notify me when someone responds to my comment. Effects of forest bathing shinrin-yoku on levels of cortisol as a stress biomarker: a systematic review and meta-analysis. International journal of biometeorology , Hamer, M. The effect of acute aerobic exercise on stress related blood pressure responses: a systematic review and meta-analysis.

Biological psychology , 71 2 , Stubbs, B. An examination of the anxiolytic effects of exercise for people with anxiety and stress-related disorders: A meta-analysis. Psychiatry Research , , Hendriks, T.

The effects of yoga on positive mental health among healthy adults: a systematic review and meta-analysis. The journal of alternative and complementary medicine , 23 7 , Quiroga Murcia, C. Shall we dance? An exploration of the perceived benefits of dancing on well-being. Burkhardt, J. The effects of recreational dance interventions on the health and well-being of children and young people: A systematic review. Estivill, M. Therapeutic aspects of aerobic dance participation.

Health care for women international , 16 4 , Rose, S. As children, we have a tendency to model what we see. In all these situations, perfectionism has become a strategy for connection. Instead of being valued for being you, you came to believe that value was something that had to be proved and earned through success.

This might extend to other people too — no one can meet your high standards. You give yourself a hard time and always feel like you could have done better — your standards are so high they might even be completely unattainable.

And how do you feel underneath it all? In the drive for perfection we inevitably end up sacrificing a lot along the way. We might even be left with the feeling that life is passing us by….

They could also be general social guidelines they've decided are important, and which they think everyone should never deviate from e. Finally, they could be more abstract principles that they expect other people to follow too closely, like thinking everyone should be thoughtful and considerate.

In a broader sense, they want everyone to act perfectly, and get upset when that doesn't happen. They bend and selectively ignore them.

If they don't get caught or hurt anyone, what does it matter? The effect following a rule or not will have on everyone's good time often comes into the equation. An uptight person who rigidly thinks people should never jaywalk, or always be completely polite and urbane, will go crazy. There are certain social activities uptight people often get annoyed about. Anything that involves people acting loud, stupid, and immature will do it.

What also gets them is anything with an aura of rule breaking, danger, and sketchiness. So anything involving partying or recklessness really.

They dislike faux-dangerous things because their uptight worldview gives them a tendency to view them as more sketchy than they actually are. Or they may see something like skateboarding as a hobby where young punks are constantly causing trouble or cracking their heads open. I don't think this applies to everyone, but at the root of some people's uptightness is a need to be in control and have everyone act the way they want them to.

If you can let this need go, and just accept that people are often going to behave in a way you may not like or expect, it can do a lot to help you take on a more relaxed mentality. Even if you don't hold a bunch of uptight beliefs at your core, some conditions can make you seem touchy and inflexible: Anxiety - If you're chronicaly anxious you can try to create a rigid, tightly-controlled comfort zone, and become tense and irritated if anything threatens to push you out of it.

Being in a near-constant state of nervousness can also make you overreact to little annoyances. Working to slowly lower your anxiety can help you go with the flow more easily. Being on the autism spectrum - People with autism often prefer a predictable routine and get upset if they have to deviate from it. They might not take it well if social plans are changed at the last second.

They may never learn to be as flexible as a quote "regular" person, but can become better at taking things as they come. Sensory sensitivities - Some people are naturally more sensitive to stimuli like bright lights or certain sounds.

They can appear tightly wound when they shut down and become grumpy around, say, loud music at a bar. They can't totally change the way they're wired, but can find ways to avoid or increase their tolerance for the things that bother them.

I've been writing about social skills for fifteen years. I was shy, awkward, and lonely until my mid-twenties and created this site to be the kind of guide I wish I'd had at the time. I'm trained as a counselor. There's a lot you can do to improve your social skills on your own - I wouldn't have made this site if I thought otherwise. Though I'm also a therapist and can offer in-depth, personalized help.